tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32293834879895715982011-12-25T07:03:58.354-08:00Learn what goes on behind the scenes at the erotica factory, where tailor-made fiction is the product of the finest quality imaginations, lots of heavy oak furniture, and state-of-the-art copulation.Sage Vivanthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13794393598483412824noreply@blogger.comBlogger181100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3229383487989571598.post-18156917119832803842007-11-11T18:03:00.000-08:002008-12-09T01:58:01.815-08:00

I drove all the way to Indiana to meet with Dr. Alfred Kinsey. It took me three days. Perhaps that sounds impressive to you, but it certainly didn't bowl them over at the institute. In fact, I was denied an audience with His Sexual Majesty several times over the course of the next two days. And it's all because of Lisabet and her big mouth. I'm so furious right now, I can't even write any smut.

Sage Vivanthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13794393598483412824noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3229383487989571598.post-12065339753771580702007-11-03T08:57:00.000-07:002009-10-12T08:45:39.252-07:00

When I think about the idiocy that surrounds me, it's little wonder that any work gets done at all here at Amalgamated.First, it turns out that Jonny was away from his desk when Dr. Kinsey came to visit. Lest you think that I begrudge any employee a simple bathroom break or a quick smoke, let me tell you that Jonny was not engaged in either of those activities. Rather, it seems that Greg had

Sage Vivanthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13794393598483412824noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3229383487989571598.post-28916873815075046792007-10-28T17:05:00.000-07:002008-12-09T01:58:02.023-08:00

I'll return to our tour soon, but I wanted to update you on where things stand with the Kinsey people. To my amazement, Alfred Kinsey came to the Amalgamated offices on the very day that Greg had Donna tied up. I know this because Lisabet wasted no time in telling me -- the moment Dr. Kinsey left the premises.Of course, Lisabet thought he was reporter or a federal investigator. This suspicion

Sage Vivanthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13794393598483412824noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3229383487989571598.post-54251483146253256922007-10-24T22:27:00.000-07:002008-12-09T01:58:02.166-08:00

I've mentioned Greg Wharton a few times on these pages, and I've probably provided sufficient context clues for you to conclude that the man is a hound. But let me take this opportunity to give you his full story, so you won't be left guessing when I write about him in the future.I don't care what kinds of rumors you've heard to the contrary -- Greg is a certified rascal. Please do not think me

Sage Vivanthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13794393598483412824noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3229383487989571598.post-1995239620787136162007-10-20T14:15:00.000-07:002008-12-09T01:58:02.297-08:00

Just as I was leaving the lounge area, I happened upon this scene.In a normal office, such an image would be cause for alarm. Not at Amalgamated. And not when Donna George Storey is involved. Donna is not content to imagine what she writes about -- she needs to experience everything.Last month, for instance, she had to write a story about a horny housewife. Well, there went Donna to the local

Sage Vivanthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13794393598483412824noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3229383487989571598.post-85382129834446558332007-10-16T18:16:00.000-07:002008-12-09T01:58:02.588-08:00

We're hardly all work and no play here at Amalgamated. In fact, ask any writer (even outside of these walls) and you'll learn that creativity is not confined to the time spent before a typewriter. Heavens no. Here are Laney and Crystal relaxing in Amalgamated's ultra-comfortable lounge area, discussing the finer points of an erotic story Laney's been working on about truck stop prostitutes

Sage Vivanthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13794393598483412824noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3229383487989571598.post-88292300363926787422007-10-13T12:33:00.000-07:002008-12-09T01:58:02.790-08:00

...so I'm going to show you a little more of the Amalgamated plant. Let's see, you've seen the Penis Room, and the file room. Today, I'd like to show you the Womb Room.How do we come up with these names, is probably your first question. Just as the shape of the room inspired the Penis Room's name, this one -- with its wide proportions and tendency to be warm and moist -- was a natural choice to

Sage Vivanthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13794393598483412824noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3229383487989571598.post-8819838883349613012007-10-10T08:58:00.000-07:002008-12-09T01:58:03.021-08:00

Words cannot describe how happy I am to be back. If we had a conveyor belt for our stories, I'd be riding it right now.Turns out that Chris's recommendation for a replacement for Penelope was excellent indeed. My interview with Kristina went so well that I hired her on the spot. It may be premature to say this, but I don't get the sense that she poses any unique personnel challenges -- she's

Sage Vivanthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13794393598483412824noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3229383487989571598.post-71645464940912404052007-10-06T14:52:00.000-07:002008-12-09T01:58:03.154-08:00

Being stuck at home for the past week has really made me realize how much I miss the erotica plant. I miss nurturing the sexy stories, feeding the fertile minds of the writers, and struggling to keep costs low. Although I love my ultra-modern home (that the lucrative industry of erotica built), I find I work better when I'm down at the plant, overseeing production.I'm feeling much better now and

Sage Vivanthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13794393598483412824noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3229383487989571598.post-40837921682612219312007-10-02T12:58:00.000-07:002008-12-09T01:58:03.299-08:00

Well, I'm laid up (so to speak), thanks to that little cat-fight between Marcy and Penelope. I did something to my back and supine is the only position that feels right. Luckily, it's a position I'm more than a little familiar with. Marilyn phoned to see how I was doing. Chris checked in to find out which stories are due today and which writers he needs to nag to get them wrapped up and sent. He

Sage Vivanthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13794393598483412824noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3229383487989571598.post-11024800482198325302007-09-29T14:13:00.000-07:002008-12-09T01:58:03.642-08:00

Well, just before I was about to show you another room here at the plant, a cat fight broke out in the middle of the Penis Room. Quelle surprise: Marcy and Penelope were at it again.This happens often enough for me to be getting tired of it. I don't care if they rip one another's hair out, but cat fights like this are seriously disruptive to the rest of the staff. Sometimes I think I'm the

Sage Vivanthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13794393598483412824noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3229383487989571598.post-19100210253465601422007-09-26T20:16:00.000-07:002008-12-09T01:58:03.834-08:00

In the coming months, you'll probably witness a fair number of blog posts where I mention Marilyn. She is both nemesis and helpmate. I mean, look at her. Does she look like she's suffered a day in her life? No, of course she doesn't. Not that I like it when people suffer, but I have serious doubts that a person can be self-actualized or sympathetic to others if they have never experienced

Sage Vivanthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13794393598483412824noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3229383487989571598.post-36050427972878988192007-09-22T18:09:00.000-07:002008-12-09T01:58:03.916-08:00

Please forgive me. I got distracted by personnel matters after I promised you a tour of the plant. Let's continue with that, shall we?As it is at most businesses, documentation and filing is vital here at Amalgamated. Every story order that comes in is immediately copied in triplicate, stamped with the date received, and filed according to fetish and then by client last name.Why triplicate?

Sage Vivanthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13794393598483412824noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3229383487989571598.post-2015479993999201232007-09-19T21:15:00.000-07:002008-12-09T01:58:04.269-08:00

M. Christian was late again today. But at least today I know why. On my way in to the office, I saw him at the newsstand. (I photographed him in case he denies being there. See him there in the raincoat?) Much of the time, he wasn't even reading, but poking around the various periodicals, sort of aimlessly looking for something that clearly wasn't even there. Maybe I've seen too many movies, but

Sage Vivanthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13794393598483412824noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3229383487989571598.post-24204955152111280902007-09-19T19:52:00.000-07:002008-12-09T01:58:04.450-08:00

Getting a receptionist has taken a real load off my mind. With so many urgent, throbbing matters to take care of in any given day, I can't afford to dedicate so much time to one issue. Stories aren't the only thing I'm thinking about. Any business with employees has employee problems. For the fourth time this month, for instance, M. Christian reported late to work. Now, I'm not big on time clocks

Sage Vivanthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13794393598483412824noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3229383487989571598.post-64295138149877392892007-09-18T23:28:00.000-07:002008-12-09T01:58:04.592-08:00

Thanks to a friendly but discreet tip from one of you (thanks, Rocco!), I'm happy to report that I've found the ideal receptionist for Amalgamated. Jonny Topaz comes highly recommended by all the drinking and dining establishments he's worked for. Our interview was short but enlightening. ME: Do you have a resume, Mr. Topaz?JONNY: In my business, a man's word is his bond, Miss Vivant.ME: It's

Sage Vivanthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13794393598483412824noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3229383487989571598.post-25324160668631335602007-09-17T22:09:00.001-07:002008-12-09T01:58:04.735-08:00

Amalgamated takes up an entire floor of the building we rent space in. At first, I leased only one room, but that didn't work out so well because at least once a day, some rube would get off the elevator and casually wander into our offices, either with a camera dangling from his neck or a his tongue hanging out of his mouth. So, I eventually just rented the whole floor so that only people with

Sage Vivanthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13794393598483412824noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3229383487989571598.post-88889567827565800892007-09-14T23:22:00.000-07:002008-12-09T01:58:04.834-08:00

Welcome! This is the blog that takes you behind the scenes at the Amalgamated Erotic Corp. plant, where erotica is produced by pleasant people to provide you, the customer, with a pleasant experience. We simply do not stop until you are satisfied.I'm the owner of Amalgamated Erotica Corporation (henceforth known as AEC -- I type prodigiously throughout the day so I hope you'll indulge me the

Sage Vivanthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13794393598483412824noreply@blogger.com1